I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Girls should come with a carfax report
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
