You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
