I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
