the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
