doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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