I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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