Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
