all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
