is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We're too hungover to prance.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize