i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
