its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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