I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
