I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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