He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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