I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the condom got lost in my hair
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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