I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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