If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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