is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
