do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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