real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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