so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
