I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
