I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
