I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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