i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
