i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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