Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
