I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
