This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
