Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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