You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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