This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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