Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
