i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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