i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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