Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
