I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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