He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
