Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
