Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
