Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize