Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
