dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Rumble strips road head = magical
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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