i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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