Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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