I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
