the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
