something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
