Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
