I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
not ubering you a puppy
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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