Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
