If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
wakey wakey hands off snakey
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
