I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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