Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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