As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
