I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
