6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
