I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
