Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
