Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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