I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
