Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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