Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
