Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
