no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
