YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
