im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
